Say Goodnight, Gracie

Say Goodnight, Gracie

What Joe did for love

Heeeerrre’s Johnny!
Where’s Joe?

Nicholls and Vickers were already the head writers for “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson” when I arrived in LA. I knew them from Toronto – we had all worked on “Check It Out!” during its run and on a radio comedy program that is rumored to have been called “The Alleged Report”…currently an unsubstantiated claim pending further investigation. – writing jokes. They were kind enough to offer me the opportunity to submit material for consideration. The feedback was that I was in the running; the material was well received. Not long after I didn’t get hired, Johnny announced his retirement. Had I been hired, it would’ve been the last season of that iconic show. The trend continues.

Here are some of the jokes I submitted (the ones I still like):

The FAA thinks people over 60 shouldn’t be flying planes and I agree. People that age are better left to less arduous tasks like running the country.

I heard the tax boys are running a legal bordello they seized for unpaid taxes, but do you think it’s possible to enjoy getting screwed by the IRS?

Congress will appease smokers and non-smokers by allowing public puffing but banning exhaling.

Bowing to public pressure, PBS will agree to air televised executions as part of its, “Learning About Electricity” series.

A Seniors Only development will be wiped out when defective Genie garage openers cause Craftmatic beds to crush their owners.

An unexplained rash of windshield smashing will occur two days after a cement truck collides with one carrying oat bran just outside of a bird sanctuary.

A USA Today article says ideally women should have 9 lovers before they marry and men should have 16, which means that guys have to lie twice as much.

A new study says elderly coffee drinkers are more sexually active, which proves that coffee really does keep you up at night.

    Say hello to Joe

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