Say Goodnight, Gracie
What Joe did for love
Nicholls and Vickers were already the head writers for “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson” when I arrived in LA. I knew them from Toronto – we had all worked on “Check It Out!” during its run and on a radio comedy program that is rumored to have been called “The Alleged Report”…currently an unsubstantiated claim pending further investigation. – writing jokes. They were kind enough to offer me the opportunity to submit material for consideration. The feedback was that I was in the running; the material was well received. Not long after I didn’t get hired, Johnny announced his retirement. Had I been hired, it would’ve been the last season of that iconic show. The trend continues.
Here are some of the jokes I submitted (the ones I still like):
The FAA thinks people over 60 shouldn’t be flying planes and I agree. People that age are better left to less arduous tasks like running the country.
I heard the tax boys are running a legal bordello they seized for unpaid taxes, but do you think it’s possible to enjoy getting screwed by the IRS?
Congress will appease smokers and non-smokers by allowing public puffing but banning exhaling.
Bowing to public pressure, PBS will agree to air televised executions as part of its, “Learning About Electricity” series.
A Seniors Only development will be wiped out when defective Genie garage openers cause Craftmatic beds to crush their owners.
An unexplained rash of windshield smashing will occur two days after a cement truck collides with one carrying oat bran just outside of a bird sanctuary.
A USA Today article says ideally women should have 9 lovers before they marry and men should have 16, which means that guys have to lie twice as much.
A new study says elderly coffee drinkers are more sexually active, which proves that coffee really does keep you up at night.