Blanket Apology & Disclaimer

I feel it is always prudent when encountering others for the first time to apologize in advance for anything I might say, write, claim to have done, or carry in my pockets that can in any way be considered insensitive, offensive, profane, in contravention of common moral standards of decency, and/or “just not done”, including but not limited to, shameless name-dropping and anecdotes not suitable for polite company.

I’m not saying I’m not going to do that, I’m just saying please accept my most heartfelt sincere apology – right up front.

The author makes no representations or warranties. Further, the author denies all claims. Isn’t that what a “disclaimer” does?

Notwithstanding the foregoing, nothing herein shall be deemed to be an admission of any fact, and all rights, remedies, and defenses, now known or hereinafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe, are hereby expressly reserved.